Sunday, August 17, 2014

I wanna talk about me!

Not very often do I talk about just *me*. I talk about others, I talk about my family and friends sometimes. I talk about the things that I do on SL, and sometimes I'll add bits and pieces about "me" but never do I come right out and Talk about me.. But today.. It's ALL ABOUT ME!

And who perfect to help you know the mood I am in than Toby Keith with the song Lets talk about me.

While I'm talking about me, I'm going to show you some random new outfits by 2 Chez and some great poses by Kay Weston of Image Essentials called Hoola Hoopin available at Summer Bash until August 25th.

Disclaimer: I started this blog on 8/15 when I was in a happy place, as I edit my pictures and add them, I see that I am leaning in a dark/grunge style because of the mood I am in. I'm feeling in a very dark lost place and so that will the reflection of my post today.

So one thing you won't see popping up in my blog anymore after this post is the daughter that was in our life for a short time. I'm not going to name her because it really doesn't matter. Just know she's not in our life anymore, she's moved onto another family and I hope she finds happiness and joy, and I hope they have enough time, lindens and patience to make that happen.

But what I am going to talk about is those people that come into your SL, shake up your world, sneak into your heart and then use you. They are the the ones who do it with stealth. You don't see it coming because you know you're smarter then that! And then bam, you get hurt. You invest your time and energy and they just suck you dry. I keep telling myself to not wear my heart on my sleeve, to make them work harder but frankly, I'm just tired of it all. I want to go to clubs and hang out and have gal friends to blog with, shop with etc. I want to go to dance, and have a family of friends that I know i can count on. I have a huge friends list, but there are probably only 10 of the almost 200 that I actually speak to on a daily basis. A majority of them are bloggers that work for MOoH, some are creators that I've gotten to know via being a manager. People like that that I wouldn't trade for the world, but I wouldn't say we 'hang out.' There are a few that I've gotten to know that I would love to know better and it'll happen with time I am sure. Then there are those on my friends list who promise to spend time with you but never do. After awhile you just kinda get tired of reaching out before the "I'm busy" gets to be to much. OR The only time they ever message you is when they've been hurt, or they've been used, or you know those that always want to use your shoulder but when you're hurting they're "busy". It's people like this that make me wonder why I even bother trying.

Then you have those people on your friends list and you can't remember why they're there, lol. I have a few of those. Kind of afraid to delete them because they might be there for a reason, or they may not be but you just never know. And on that note, you have those people you add because they've touched your life for a moment but you don't want to lose their names, they're not people that you're friends with persay but they've impacted you. (Like for example I have a doctor and a nurse on my friends list that are totally awesome people and if I ever have prim babies again in SL, they'll be my go to's. So they're not people I want to lose off my friends list because they're totally adorable and wonderful gals. We just walk in different circles I suppose.)

I know that people come and go in Second Life, they touch your life for a moment, or they touch your life for a long time. I am blessed by each of these moments. Even the daughters that are no more. Just because they've gone on to different things, I still care, I still worry, I still often wonder how they're doing. I think what saddens me most is the friendships that were there that are no more. Just because they've moved on doesn't mean I hold a grudge. (okay in some cases I kind of do. I'm kind of upset about a few things called communication that wasn't happening but ah well, I'll get over it, I always do.)  It's just sad how you can go from a loving family to not even speaking. To me that family dynamic really never goes away it just maybe shifts in different directions. It ebbs and flows. I saw a quote not to long ago about families "Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who LOVE you no matter what." and "No family is perfect.. we argue, we fight. We even stop talking to each other at times, but in the end, family is family.. the love will always be there." And I think at the bottom of it all that's what hurts that no matter what, in the end family sticks together. No matter how upset I get, I want a family that's going to be the through the good times and the bad.

So my last final thought of the day is this which is kind of going to be my new mantra because I will never talk about the daughter that was or the daughters that were or the friends that have come and left without a trace. Or those that just left for some reason without talking to me. "Forgiving people who have hurt you is your gift to them. Forgetting people who have hurt you is your gift to you." So today, my gift to myself is to begin the process of forgiving and letting go and to forget. I won't forget the lessons I have learned, but I will forget the person and the pain they have caused. The tears that I have shed in real life because they did matter to me. These tears will just be the pathway to new things, and new journeys, new friendships and new doorways. And be thankful that on this road that I didn't hurt friendships that were already established that could have been destroyed.

Event covered: Summer Bash with Image Essential Poses and Props: Pose used "Hoolah Hoopin" several of the 6 different gatcha's offered. Please know that if you're a group member that this sim is free of charge,  you can rez and she has amazing props and poses everywhere to use. Please be generous and donate to keep this wonderful place open to everyone. Even a little goes a long way because a little adds up if everyone donates.

Last but not least I can't forget the polish! -{ZOZ}-, my absolute favorite polish maker on the grid. She's just fantastic in more then just polish. :) This polish is called: -{ZOZ}- Shimmer Basics French Polish and is available @ Designer Showcase July 30nd - Aug 29th

Namrah's Look:
Skin/Shape: Panda Punx Neri (bought at past event, not sure if it's in her in-world store)
Hair: .ploom Fraya
Outfit: 2 Chez by Gisele Grizot name of outfit is called Carolina
Slink Hands: Casual feet High
Polish: -{ZOZ}- Shimmer Basics French Polish  @ Designer Showcase July 30nd - Aug 29th
Eyes: IKON-Celtic Green (Creator: Ikon Innovia)
Eyelashes: - DAMNED - Eyelashes
Wedding ring by Lapointe & Bastchilde (Creators: Lapointe & BastChild Designs )
Make-up: ~Blacklace Beauty~ Hi-Gloss Lips Clear (Creator Gemini Galatea)
Location: Playground @ Anywhere Town @  Image Essentials